Week 6 day 4

We had a nice little visit with Amirah this morning. They changed her feedings from continuous feeding to feeding every two hours. It's a positive step forward. She was still de-sating some but was recovering on her own, needing less intervention from the nurses. She did have a slightly elevated temperature while we were there, but they nurses and doctor didn't seem to be worried about it. I left today with a much more calm feeling than yesterday.

I just called to check in on her (which we do several times a day) and found out that both her heart rate and her temperature have been elevated for the past few hours and the doctors weren't able to lower it yet. They gave her a sedative around 5:30 to see if getting her to relax some would lower them. They did try non medical intervention such as ice before switching to medication. They took blood to check for infection, which she doesn't have, and to check for the different levels in her blood, which they didn't have the results for when we called around 6:00.

I am feeling anxious and worried for our little girl. But Andy and my sister Jessica remind me to think positive and have faith. Which I do. But I am still wanting there to be a better answer. I know this is a long road we are on and I have to remember (which Andy did remind me of) that she will have these ups and downs. But I have to be honest, it's incredible hard to be here at home and not having Amirah with us. It's hard to be at the hospital and see her fuss and cry silently (no sound comes out because of the ventilator) and not be able to pick her up and comfort her. It's hard not to count the days and wonder when she will be able to come home.

Maybe it's because we around the half-way-ish point that things are seemingly harder emotional recently. But I am eagerly awaiting the day Amirah gets to come home with us.

Thanks for listening (reading) me vent. I feel better after sharing my thoughts.