As you may already know, we are home. I just really wanted to have a post titled this.
It's been 2 full days since Amirah got home and its been great. I will let Andy give the numbers about how long we were in the NICU.
It has been amazing to have her home. Almost like she was never anywhere but home with us. We are slowly getting into a little rhythm. But most of all we are just ecstatic with having her near us 24/7.
The first night she was home was a little tiring. We didn't have any nursing. But our night nurse was here for night two. It was easier than I thought it would be to have her in our home while we slept. I woke up a few times and came out to the living room to check on them. Amirah was doing great, mostly sleeping and pooping.
We have Amirah room all set up. And we (me, Andy and Amirah) slept in there the first night (we have a guest bed in there). But during the day we decided we didn't want to be stuck in her little room so we moved all her equipment to the living room. We have her pack-n-play set up and its been working great. Last night we left her and the nurse in the living room. We will probably do the same tonight. Both Andy and I are pretty tired. But I can see we will soon want to have Amirah (and her nurse) be in Amirah's room. Andy is a night owl, and I can tell he will want to stay out in the living room watch TV or playing video games.
Our home feels full right now. Full of love, happiness and baby stuff. It's like having Amirah come home put the finishing touches on our home. It's the most amazing feeling.
I can't say enough how much all of the love, support and prayers everyone sent our way really made the difference for me. It made a very very challenging experience easier. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I will let Andy finish the post and decide what photo's to include....
(Andy)
Hello Amirah Nation!! It's been a while hasn't it? I think I just ran out of things to say for a while. I guess I have a bit to say now.
We are SO happy to finally have her home. It was 8 months, 10 days, 10 hours, 55 minutes in the Hospital since the day Amirah was born. The last few weeks (I would say probably since Amirah left Blythsdale and went back to the NICU) has been very difficult. A week or so after she was back in the NICU, I began questioning what we where doing there. It became pretty clear to me that Jo and I could take care of Amirah, and that all we really needed was some training on her ventilator, medication and her food. It has really felt like we where fighting to bring Amirah home.
However, I guess anything of worth is worth fighting for! She is home now, and Its been great. I would be lying if I didn't say I was not nervous. Amirah requires a lot more then food and a diaper change. It's critical some one keeps a close eye on her and knows what to do when she gets into trouble.
The Friday night, was my first real test. I told Jo and Carol (Jo's mom) that if each one of us could not take care of Amirah, on our own, with no safety net, then its us, not Amirah, who is not ready. Well, I guess Jo and I got to test that theory. Jo went to lay down for some well deserved rest, and as they say in the Navy "I had the watch". Things where going fine until Amirah suddenly began to desat (her oxygen levels started dropping). I looked at her, and she was showing me all the signs of choking and, and needing to be suctioned. Well, it scared me a little, because while I had taken care of her in this situation plenty of times before, that was my first time really doing it on my own, with no one over my shoulder. But I followed the lessons we learned, and while things seemed hairy for a moment (I was reminded once again why and how people sometimes freeze up in stressful situations. I paused for a good 10 or 15 seconds trying to decide if I should wake Jo up!) halfway through it all, right when I though I had really screwed up, I realized what was the matter. Amirah had to Poop!! When Amirah has to poop, you would think she is running the Boston marathon! She gets all dark and blue, she looks like she is gagging a bit (Jo and I realized that she often needs help right about then, so it's a good idea to suction) and then, all you hear is loud farting signs accompanied by a very fragrant odor, and then she relaxes, her color returns to normal, and I swear she almost always has a little smile on her face when she is done. But after a big poop, who doesn't right?
So, I changed her, rocked her for a bit, and when she was still a little unsettled (the really big poops after meals really bother her), I held her for a hour until she really relaxed and was back in a deep sleep. As she fell back into a deep sleep in my arms, it was that particular moment when I REALLY felt like a dad. I knew I was a dad, and I felt it before, but that was the first time I felt it so strongly. The way she snuggled into my arms, I felt like a super hero who has just saved the day. It was pretty normal for her, just something she goes through a few times a day, but for me it was really special. We had a repeat of the incident again late Saturday afternoon, but instead of sleep, I realized she was bored and wanted to play. So I set up her toys, got her seated just the way she likes, and when she was settled, I got my first REALLY BIG smile from her since she has been home. It totally made my day.
When Jo woke from a nap 45 minutes later, she was almost surprised to see Amirah up, and steadily batting away at her toys, happy as a clam in its shell, and smiling away. I was getting ready to prep a quick meal for us, and I felt really good then. I felt like I was taking care of my family, and I knew it wasn't just a feeling, I was certain of it. The uncertainty (at least for the moment) is gone now, and I feel really confident that Jo and I really know how to care for Amirah. Her night nurse, at least to me, is simply there to give us a few hours of well needed sleep.
So that's basically it. As I write this, Amirah is back in her pack and play, napping after playing with her toys for a hour, and Jo is napping on the other side of me, waking to remind me of the 7:30 am meds. (I am not to the point where I remember exactly what she is taking when, but I am slowly getting there. Having a chart helps enormously). I don't know what challenges tomorrow will bring, but I am pretty confident that the three of us can and will overcome them.
Here are a few pics of Amirah coming home, and of this morning.
Thanks for reading, and
Love is Always.
Andy
The princess in her tutu. How am I going to teach her football if she is wearing that?!?!? :)
Extremely glad to be going home.
Look at Sleeping Beauty :)
The whole Neighborhood knew we had finally brought her home!
Settled down in her new crib.
This is the first time mommy and baby got to lay down together. Its been a long time coming!
Finally, me and baby girl gets to watch some TV together!!
This is from Thursday night, as she slept in her pack and play.
We all love this shot!
Rodrigo has calmed down now that he knows whats going on. I think he now feels he is a guard kitty. Someone comes, and he will love you to death, so watch out!! :)
Its been a wonderful AND tiring weekend! (This was taken this morning as I finished this post) :)
Yup, baby knocked out too!!!
I will post a shot of her awake and playing with her toys soon! Its so cute! She looks so serious when she is playing with them!
Yup, even the cats tired. But he is still on duty. You cant see it here, but his eyes where open and he is looking at Amirah (one of her alarms went off). He is a good Kitty.
By the way: Its Jo and I anniversary!! We just realized together!! I think it can be forgiven with a new baby in the house right? :)
I so love my wife.
Thanks for reading, Amirah Nation!!
